Story of my Story teller – The common woman

Nalini’s pursuit for knowledge took her to Pune where she completed her graduation from S P College. It was in Pune where she met her life partner Shriram Sablok. One story Dadarchi aai, as she was fondly known never shared was on how and where she met Nanaji. All we knew from Nanaji was he grew up in Rawalpindi, then moved to Pune when he joined Army (pre- independence). In was in early 50’s when they both decided to marry and settle in Mumbai. Post independence Nanaji got job with Adelphi, Canteen Stores Department in Mumbai and this is where Nalini started new phase of her life.

Nalini with her elder daughter Poonam, my mom

Marital life for Dadarchi Aai was not a smooth journey. Being a graduate and an independent woman she decided to pursue fulltime job. She too joined Canteen Stores Department at Churchgate. As mother of 2 daughters her daily routine was cooking breakfast and lunch, dropping daughters to school and walking to Dadar railway station and commuting to Churchgate. She would walk back home in evening with groceries, teach her daughters and cook dinner. It may sound very routine but here is the situation she faced while she followed this routine for next 20 years. Late 1950s….Nanaji decided to move to Delhi (again a mystery which she never shared), working woman raising 2 kids without crèche or fulltime dependable nannies, no tuition or coaching classes, no support from parents or in-laws and ofcourse no gadgets such as mixer, refrigerator, washing machine! Taking care of daughters during their illness, teaching them during exams and later managing teenagers without father around was not easy. She did feel the burden doing it all alone but she never let it effect her or make her weak. She emerged stronger and resilient and more important learnt to manage her emotions.

As a kid I remember her daily practising yoga and meditation in 1980s! Yoga and fasting on Mondays was way of life for her. Don’t know from where she got her strength but for sure she knew how to regain her energies. In her words the biggest purpose of her life was to give the best to her daughters. Both my mom and her sister grew up in Mumbai, studied in convent school and pursued their life on their terms. For my mom living life on her terms meant marrying my dad whom she dated since age of 15 and choosing to be stay at home mom with pride to raise me and my brother. For my maasi, having grow up without her father around, marriage was something she did not believe in. It was only when she met a suitable partner in her 30’s she decided to marry.

Dadarchi aai and her life was nothing but inspiration to us. She was role model for me, my brother and my dad. My dad would share with us how she helped him and mom financially after their marriage. She stood by them when his family disowned him since he married outside their community. Every alternate weekend she would take train from Dadar and visit us at Dombivli on Sundays. My mom would share how if I was unwell Dadarchi Aai would take half day from work to be with my mom to give her morale support. She knew pain of mother when child is sick and what it felt if there is no family around.

Nalini at her office where she proudly worked for 3 decades serving families of armed forces

She was our Santa and would get us goodies in her office bag. She taught us about saving and investing. Infact she was the one who gave my brother seed capital to invest in stocks and knew much more about politics, economic affairs than any of us! She showed us why reading editorial page was more important than reading news in newspaper. Equality and empowerment were words we never understood and kind of took for granted until we started our career and saw world from a different angle. She showed us why family and human values are important than career or money. Job for her meant financial independence but was never did she pursue money from materialist point of view. Her motto in life was clear simple living and high thinking and this was one sentence she would share with us every time we visited her during our holidays.

Spending our summer and Diwali holidays at Dadar with Dadarchi Aai was a treat for me and my brother. Listening to her childhood stories and later years to mid morning discussion on current affairs and politics between her and Nanaji are memories which me and my brother cherish.

If one has to describe the crucial years of Dadarchi Aai her late 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s …. it only meant struggle and fight. She fought the battle single handed, with pride, not as a tough warrior but as a gentle nurturing mother. She inculcated in her daughters and later grandkid’s the importance of giving, sharing and being independent. She was cognisant of the fact that she stayed in a ‘society’ which was not open but had courage to balance her independent thinking and following social norms. To the extent she never separated from my grandfather and post his retirement took care of him till his last breath

She continued to be respected in her village and her community. We were known as grandchildren of Nalatai. In a way she was the unannounced matriarch of the extended Nadkarni family but given her simple and kind demeanour one never realised the power and respect she commanded